Stop thinking about where you are, and start focusing more on where you need to be!

"Within all of us is a divine capacity to manifest and attract
all that we need and desire."
Wayne Dyer

Destinations are quirky things. They are often incubated in a vacuum, isolated from a myriad of variables and then adopted with blind ambition and dedication.

For aspiring speakers, the destination might manifest itself in a desire to be on a stage in front of a larger audience mesmerizing them with your profound observations and wisdom.

The urge to take to the stage without first determining the content and value of what you will say once you get there often proves to be a harsh reality, best experienced in solitude rather than in public.

The awkwardness of wanting something without assessing what you may need to acquire to obtain it is a dilemma I regularly find aspiring speakers struggling to overcome.

To get from where you are (the desire to speak) to where you need to be (having something worthwhile to say that is both deeply profound and well developed) is akin to choosing a destination and then figuring out how you will actually get there.

For every worthwhile destination, you must be willing to embrace the journey to get there.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TRIP AND A JOURNEY

We all know (at least you should after this blog) that life is not about the destination, it is about the journey. So, it makes sense to learn not to trip through life, but to enjoy the journey as you go.

A trip is an act of going to a place and returning. A great experience, but you have the tendency to end up exactly where you began. Trips do have destinations, but they limit themselves because of the expectation of returning to where you began.

If you are like most people, you take a trip to one place and back again nearly every day. Whether it is the commute to work or the “taxi” trips to and from dance lessons, sports, or the grocery. Most of these short-run, quick-return experiences happen in a nearly rote manner. Sometimes we complete the cycle with such detachment that we wonder if we actually have completed them.

But a journey offers you so much more in the pursuit of a destination.

A journey is an act of traveling from one place to another. It can also be a long and often difficult process of personal change and development.

What can elevate a trip from the mundane into true “journey” status is what happens to you along the way. Most importantly, what happens to you along the way is what will become the foundation of the value and wisdom you will share when you are speaking. So, ask yourself:

• What happened?

• Why did it happen?

• What did I learn from it?

• What am I going to do differently?

The process of becoming a successful speaker, whose theme and message offer value and substance to your audiences, requires the creating of a road map to assist you on the journey to your destination. Your road map needs only have three way-points:

1. Defining Your Destination

2. Discovering Your Intention

3. Designing Your Presentation

DEFINING YOUR DESTINATION

The speaking world consists of six tiers of speakers. I call this list “The Speaking World’s Hierarchy”.

Regardless of where you are as a speaker within this list, there will be things you must do or obtain to get to where you need to be. The tier you choose becomes your destination. You will need to study the destination and assess where you are and how much you will need to do to reach your destination. This assessment should include the level of your speaking desire (commitment), the depth of your content (foundational message development), and your platform delivery skills (stage presence). You will need all of these, extensively developed, to become a successful speaker and reach your destination.

DISCOVERING YOUR INVENTION

I’ve often heard a speaker encourage an audience to become more tenacious by citing the story of Thomas Edison’s invention of the light bulb as the result of nearly one thousand attempts. While this is true, is it hardly original content. Which leads me to wonder how many attempts at an original example of tenacity did this speaker make?

Becoming a successful speaker means you will need to discover your foundational message as the result of your own invention. It will exist after you have challenged yourself to pursue a line of thought or interest to its deepest level. From that valley you will rise with a powerful understanding and the “voice” and passion to share it.

To become a successful speaker, you will need to find your “voice”. This means you must find a way to refine all of what you know, feel and have experienced into a themed presentation that is uniquely yours. You cannot pretend to be something or someone you are not. Therefore, you cannot vastly copy or borrow from others. You must find and extract every piece of original precious material from the “nuggets” within your mind.

This process requires time, temperament and tenacity. It is not easy, especially when you have a lifetime of achievement, experience and wisdom you wish to share with your audiences.

It is at this stage of development that you might become bogged down in the mire of your own thinking. You can become overwhelmed by the torrent of thoughts streaming from your mind. Understanding how to extract and refine relevant and riveting content is the most essential step in becoming a successful speaker.

How can you reduce the “fire hose” of what you know, feel and have experienced down to the sprinkling of ideas you are compelled to share with an audience?

To succeed at this process, you will need to learn how to use mind mapping and story extraction tools. Many successful speakers also engage the guidance of a personal coach, as well, to help them through this stage.

Once you pass through this stage you will discover the invention of a foundational message you can trust and so will your audiences. Your new invention will speak to your core values, inspire others to action, motivate people to change thoughts and behaviors, and positively transform their lives.

DESIGNING YOUR PRESENTATION

The ultimate goal of every successful speech is for their speech to become memorable and repeatable. Your speech, no matter how essential the content may be, will not succeed if you do not reach these two critical outcomes.

So, in order to become a successful speaker, you will have to study how audiences think, listen and learn. It is not enough to have something to say, you must know how to say it effectively.

Here is a short list (from a much longer list) of some things you must do to successfully design your presentation.

• Choose each word with clear intention and understanding.

• Incorporate as many speech and pattern devices as you can to further your audience’s understanding and their desire to act on what you say.

• Place the stories you will tell to drive home the point you want to make in just the right spot.

• Know how to take and hold the stage with confidence in yourself and your content.

• Use your voice as a powerful communication instrument enabling your audience to embrace not just what you are saying, but how you are saying it.

• Use the speaking area to your fullest advantage to promote understanding and help lock in retention.

• Control all technology so that is enhances what you are saying without detracting or distracting the audience’s focus from you, the speaker.

DELIVERING ON DESIRE

To become a successful speaker requires you to take control of the whole process. As the late Dr. Wayne Dyer said, "Within all of us is a divine capacity to manifest and attract all that we need and desire."

If you desire to become a more successful speaker at work or as a profession, I urge you to stop thinking about where you are, and start focusing on where you need to be. Intensify your focus on obtaining all that you currently do not possess in order to reach your desired destination.

Change is a process and it will require time, temperament and tenacity from you to achieve it. While it is prudent to “keep your eyes on the prize”, remember the finish line comes at the end of the race not at the beginning, so focus your intention on every lap.

I’m delighted to have the opportunity of sharing how you can define, discover and design your journey towards becoming a successful speaker. I trust you will embrace this journey for all of the glory and exhilaration it can offer. I appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Behind every excuse you give is a reason asking you to own it.

"An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame."
Bo Bennett

Can you imagine walking into a meeting with a major client and instead of beginning your presentation you pause and say the following, “You may not believe this, but my dog ate my thumb drive and I will not be able to make my presentation today.”

I trust you cannot imagine yourself actually saying anything like this, but I have been in large public forums where I have heard speakers basically say something similar. I have also been in classrooms where students have offered the modern-day equivalent of “my dog ate my homework”. You know the one. It gets used a lot in business too. Can you guess it?

Stumped?

OK, I’ll relieve your befuddlement. Tell me if you’ve ever heard this famous excuse in place of actual performance, “My hard drive crashed.”

This leaves me wondering, why is it so easy for people to make excuses for their shortfalls and so hard instead for them to offer a reason for the outcome?

Do you know what the difference is between an Excuse and a Reason?

Read on and I’ll explain.

CAN THINGS HAPPEN ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE?

Things happen in life, some by intention and so many more by accident. By its very definition an accident is “an event that happens by chance or that is without apparent or deliberate cause”. So, let’s be clear on something, there is no such thing as an intentional accident. An accident has no deliberate cause, but it does have a reason.

Because accidents happen so frequently, many people find it convenient to use an accident as an excuse. “I was late to the wedding because I accidentally burned my shirt while ironing it.” An accident is not an excuse. An accident is a reason. Inside every excuse is a reason screaming to be free. The hidden reason in this accident might sound something like this, “I was late to the wedding because I accidentally burned my shirt while ironing it because I was engrossed in the big game and forgot to look at the shirt until I smelled smoke.”

A pure accident is one that occurs to you in which you have no role other than to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most of us call this “bad luck”.

The old adage says, “Everything happens for a reason.” It does not say, “Everything happens by excuse.” There are many things we classify as an accident and leave it at that. We either lack the resolve or the intention to prevent a repeat of this event in the future. This type of behavior meets the now classic definition of insanity, “doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results”. In truth, we might find that many accidents have very clear reasons for their happening that are simply the result of poorly focused or missing intention. However, what we can choose to extract from any accident is the way we react to it. The most important outcome we can harvest from an accident is to understand the reason of its cause and how we might play a role in preventing future occurrences.

WHAT IS AN EXCUSE?

An Excuse is “a reason put forward to conceal the real reason for an action; a pretext.” This can be stated another way, an excuse is “the explanation of an event in which the outcome is someone else’s fault”.

“My dog ate my homework” is an excuse offered as a reason to quickly absolve a person of responsibility for the outcome and neatly shift the blame to a defenseless creature.

People will even offer an excuse and frame in terms of an accident. “Dinner is late because I “accidentally” forgot to take the meat out to defrost in time to cook it.” There is no accident here, just a lame excuse that makes the giver seem helpless against the forces of nature. Forgetfulness is not an excuse. Who is at fault here, the freezer for effectively doing its job or the cook for forgetting how to do theirs?

Every excuse, real or imagined has a reason looking for someone to own it.

WHAT IS A REASON?

A Reason is, “a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event.” Another way to put this is a reason is “the explanation of an event in which the outcome is your responsibility”.

Excuse: “My dog ate my homework.”

Reason: “My dog ate my homework because I was careless, dripped some hamburger juice on it and left it on the floor near his bowl.”

There is always a reason behind every excuse you give asking you to own it. An accident has a cause and you may have a role in it by way of intention or lack of it that will constitute the reason for its cause.

A few years back I went to a major speaking event with one of my clients so that she could study and learn what are the best and worst skills being practiced in the speaking industry. We watched and listened to a lot of speakers that day. A few were very good, some were okay, and a few were just terrible. I don’t want to go into to everything we witnessed that day, but I will highlight one of the speakers.

This speaker, a well-known real estate mogul from a popular television show, took the stage and then proceeded to fumble her way through her PowerPoint presentation. About one-third of the way through she began to offer an excuse for the problem she was having. “Oh, I’m really sorry, but I just got these new slides from my designer late yesterday and this is the first time I am seeing them.”

Ouch! How lame is that excuse. How insulted would that make you feel if she were making you a presentation on a big pricey piece of real estate?

I listened to her excuse loud and clear, but what I really heard was this reason, “I am way too over-stretched at the moment and I probably should not have even taken on this speaking engagement because I just did not have the time to prepare. But, they offered me so much money I couldn’t say no. So, I thought I would just show up and, because you all love me sooooo much, you would give me a bye if I screwed up completely.” This is what I call a poor excuse of a speaker.

SPEAKING AND LEADING FROM REASON

Speakers and leaders can profit from offering reasons instead of excuses. When you offer an excuse, it changes nothing. It does not assure your audience or those you lead that you are making a commitment to preventing a repeat outcome of an event or actions.

As popular motivational speaker Bo Bennet says, “An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame."

Nothing succeeds like success, and nothing will help you succeed faster than having fully focused intentions and doing everything by reason. Success is not an accident, so stop making excuses for the things that don’t go as planned.

When you take responsibility for the outcomes of events, people will trust you, believe you and follow you with conviction and commitment. When you take responsibility for the outcomes of events you will grow, trust and believe in yourself, your goal and your future.

My reason for sharing this blog with you is to help you step off of the easy road of excuses and onto the harder, surer road of reasons. Speaking and leading with intention is never an accident and always leads to a pleasant journey followed by a delightful destination.

I deeply appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Do you know what the 3 stories are that every executive must be able to tell?

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me,
because I'd like to hear it again."
Groucho Marx

Once upon a time there was an idea that struck a very eager entrepreneur as the basis for the creation of an amazing enterprise. As time passed, this visionary’s dream began to generate amazing products and services that not only changed the world, but the way the people who used these great products and services began to see themselves. One user of this company’s fantastic, revolutionary, and cutting-edge technology transformed itself overnight into a dynamic, global leader in people to people commercial exchange and a paragon of social action and responsibility.

There are no names to put to this story. There is really no need to. Because, whether the facts are real or imagined, the elements of this story are essential to the culture, growth and sustainability of every business. The stories within this larger epic are the three basic stories that every executive must learn and be able to tell with unbridled enthusiasm, humility and sincerity.

Do you know the three stories that every executive must be able to tell?

Allow me, please, to share some insights with you regarding the three stories and how you can use them to promote yourself and your business.

First, what are the three stories?

The three stories every executive must be able to tell are:

1. The Origin Story

2. The Product Story

3. The Customer Story

Let’s look into each one and see how it might best serve your needs.

THE ORIGIN STORY

Origin stories are tales of passion. They ignite the imagination of the listener and ask them to surrender their attention to the details of a rise from nothingness to established existence. Some origin stories are about unlikely partnerships uniquely forged upon a spark of genius. Others portray courageous visionaries steadfastly pursuing a dream from a garage or a dorm room.

Whatever story relates the foundational moments of your enterprise, as an executive, you must learn how to embrace it, retell it and infuse it with a passion equal to that of the originators in your story.

You must be ever mindful of the many audiences a good origin story serves. Origin stories can inspire investors, recruit top talent, establish a solid ground for a longer relationship, and provide the fundamental core behind a business’s culture and its proud traditions.

Without exception, the telling of the origin story is a primary duty of every executive from the middle to the top and back again.

THE PRODUCT STORY

Once the purview of marketing and public relations, the proliferation of social media into business marketing channels has enabled all executive players within an enterprise to relate the value, features and benefits of every product in the line.

Behind every service or product is the story of why it exists, how it came to be and what unique qualities justify the loyalty of consumers or end users. The product space is crowded in this arena, (social media) where the best, boldest and cleverest grab the lion’s share of the bandwidth shared by readers and raters for shoppers and buyers.

Today, people exhaust all avenues to uncover the good, the bad and the ugly of a product before making their “buy” decision. An artfully crafted and well told product story can have enormous effect on cementing a product’s ranking in search engines, blogs and other aggregators of opinions and reviews.

As an executive, you must know these stories down to the deepest detail. You must be able to recall them with enthusiasm and purpose. The product story is an incredible opportunity to relate value, innovation and excellence in a single experience.

THE CUSTOMER STORY

Whether you read or hear a review from a customer, it has real bearing on your perception of a company and its products. The customer story is a powerful way to relate to prospective customers the deep levels of satisfaction your company and its products have achieved.

Many executives ignore this fertile ground of storytelling, failing to understand its powerful role in breeding new customers and retaining current ones as well.

A well told customer story is a powerful testimonial bearing witness to the passion, promise, and reliability of doing business with your organization. It extends beyond the performance of a single product or products to reach the much more significant value of a relationship built on trust and fidelity. Every executive should have a briefcase (or backpack) full of customer stories suitable for sharing with a vast array of audiences.

THE STORY YOU HEARD BEFORE

As Groucho Marx quipped, “If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again." As an executive storyteller, you will. Likewise, you will become used to telling these stories and yearn for the chance to do so at every opportunity. The telling must never be done rotely or robotically. Instead the telling of these stories should be fulfilled by those within any organization with a high degree of passion and the honor it bears.

An executive telling any of the three stories, The Origin, The Product and The Customer, should never tire of the unique opportunities they afford to build, buoy and bond a relationship for the betterment of the served and the server.

I deeply appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Here's what it takes to speak like an effective executive.

“There are good leaders who actively guide and bad leaders who actively misguide.
Hence, leadership is about persuasion, presentation and people skills.”
Shiv Khers

A survey conducted a couple of years ago with leading CEOs and CHROs by the Society for Human Resources (SHRM) and the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) concluded that the one skill most valued and most absent in the current workforce was communication skills.

Let’s let that settle in for a moment.

Huh? How could that be?

Don’t big companies prefer leaders that know how to “get things done”, “increase productivity and efficiency”, and “inspire greatness in their employees”?

Well, “Yes” they do. But guess what, these are all things that hard skills find extremely challenging to accomplish.

Why? Because they deeply rely on changing the mindsets and behaviors of people. There are no pills for this. No algorithms, forecasts or computer models either. The only method known to mankind for achieving these business aspirations is the effective practice of genuine, highly focused and clear communication.

Today, this role in business is filled by the executive speaker. The reality is, it is not being done effectively in far too many corners of the business world.

So, how can you become a more effective executive speaker?

THE ABC’S OF EXECUTIVE SPEAKING

Becoming an effective executive speaker requires you to practice and master The ABC’s of Executive Speaking. They are Authenticity, Brevity and Clarity. These three attributes comprise the heart of every effective executive speaker. If you truly want to speak like an effective executive, with all of its power and promise, you must exhibit these qualities when you speak. Nothing less will do.

AUTHENTICITY

Being an effective executive speaker begins and, for intents and purposes, ends here. If you cannot speak with an authentic voice your value, trustworthiness and legacy as an executive will not be firmly established. Authenticity is the foundation upon which everything you say as an executive speaker is built. Authenticity can be thought of as a quality of genuineness, supremely unique to you, the speaker. It is a state of existence in which your natural personality, ethos and pathos are free to surface and make sincere connection to your audience.

Do not confuse Authenticity with Transparency. Transparency is about establishing clear and unfettered access to all elements of an enterprise or endeavor. While an Authentic speaker should be comfortable with being transparent, what can and cannot be disclosed at certain times to certain audiences still remains situational within the world of business. Delicate discretion is a key tool of the Authentic speaker.

Authenticity is a genuine quality of self. Your Authenticity will be established when your audience senses you are …

Genuine – being true to yourself
In Hamlet (Act 1, Scene 3) Shakespeare wrote, "This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Do not pretend to be someone you are not. Beyond honesty being the best policy, it is the only policy for a speaker.

Credible
Do not knowingly deceive or misrepresent the facts to your audience in order to support a false agenda. All professional speakers know that the most important character you bring to the stage is the one of a truthfulness that holds the highest respect for your audience, while you safeguard them from harm.

Valid
Your audience must understand the information you share has value. Value in your perspective, concreteness of fact, and the sincerity of your intent. Your content must be timely, accurate and impact them in a meaningful way.

Legitimate
As an authentic executive speaker, you confidently own content that is originally yours, credit fully content you have borrowed from others, and humbly share what you have learned with your audience.

Trustworthy
When writing on success, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Self-trust is the first secret of success.” You goal as an authentic executive speaker is to leave your audience feeling comfortable and trusting in the content you have shared. You must be able to help your audience trust you by showing them you trust yourself through both words and actions.

From Authenticity we connect to the next attribute, Brevity.

BREVITY

While Shakespeare was busy getting Hamlet to be a truer person, he was also letting us know that getting to the point of your message (not sword) is essential to effective speaking when he wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

In executive circles, Brevity is a sign of respect. “Time is money,” as they say. In today’s business environment, people are doing more and more with less and less available time. They prize their time as the precious possession it is. Effective executive speakers do not waste their audience’s time.

In business this means being…

• Concise

• Succinct

• Economical

• Compact

Getting to the point requires you to weed out any content that may be unnecessary. It means you have to learn how to be precise in both content and language. It means learning how to be terse.

It’s tough to be terse.

Executive subject matter experts struggle with limiting the vastness of their knowledge when speaking to their audiences. They often dowse them with a fire hose when a sprinkler will do. Being economical of language and content is a great way to practice the brevity essential to your skill as an effective executive speaker.

Now we can bring it all together by connecting Authenticity and Brevity to the third attribute, Clarity.

CLARITY

For an effective executive speaker, Clarity equals Certainty. You speak and share only facts about which there is no doubt based on the current information you have validated.

To speak with Clarity, you must:

• Choose your words with a preciseness that avoids confusion or obfuscation.

• Avoid confusing your audience with a plethora of acronyms and jargon.

• Help your audience maintain their focus on what you are saying by limiting or removing all interferences including “ums”, “likes” and “you knows”.

• Speak clearly with proper pronunciation, articulation and grammar.

• Answer every question you pose.

• Be confident, assertive and determined.

• Clarity is the ability to help your audience remember and repeat the core of your message and the point of your speech.

GOOD LEADERS ARE EFFECTIVE EXECUTIVE SPEAKERS

Shiv Khers, one of the world’s leading self-help authors, motivational speakers and activists said, “There are good leaders who actively guide and bad leaders who actively misguide. Hence, leadership is about persuasion, presentation and people skills.”

Every executive ought to challenge their ability to be an effective executive speaker by learning and practicing The ABC’s of Executive Speaking. The Universe knows how sorely lacking and how desperately the world needs effective executive speakers. It shouldn’t take a survey to tell us what we already know. The best way to motivate, inspire and transform people is through the power of the spoken word. Humanity has been doing this since the first spark ignited a communal fire.

The best way for you to accelerate your career into and through the executive ranks, build consensus for your most important initiatives, and establish yourself as a thought leader in your professional field is to become a master of The ABC’s of Executive Speaking. When you do you will become highly valued and sought after by businesses, organizations, and colleagues.

This blog is rooted in helping my readers develop the essential people skills they need to succeed as speakers and in other areas of their lives. Many of you are executives, aspiring to become one, and/or a more successful speaker. This blog is here to support you with articles like this one. I deeply appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Overcome these Challenges to Your Intention today, and you'll Achieve your Success tomorrow.

“Intention is the seed you sow today,
that will grow into the desired success you will reap tomorrow."
Don E. Smith

Why is success, for some people, as easy as getting out of bed, while for the rest of the world it is a constant, uphill struggle?

Would you like to be a success?

Who wouldn’t!

Have you ever asked yourself, “What does it take to become a success?”

Believe it or not, the answer to achieving success relies as much on how you think about the success process as it does on what you do to reach your goal. In many respects, you can’t have one without the other. If this confounds you, the question you might want to ask yourself is, “What is success?”

Success is defined as, “The achievement of an intent.”

So, right off the bat, this tells you two things about success. 1) you cannot achieve Success without Intent and 2). Success is never an accident. If you achieve your desire by either accident or chance, it’s called “Luck” and that’s rarely controllable or repeatable.

YOUR INTENTION TO SUCCEED

Success is all about Intention. Another way to put it is, “Intention is the seed you sow today, that will grow into the desired success you will reap tomorrow."

DESIRE + INTENTION = SUCCESS

But success is not without its challenges.

On every road you travel during a journey from intent to success you encounter three daunting challenges you will need to surpass. Each of these challenges is as deadly to the pursuit of your intent and ultimate success as the lack of water is to plants in a garden.

The Three Challenges to Success are Inertia, Entropy and Apathy.

Let’s examine each.

INERTIA

My Dad had his greatest business successes as an insurance agent. His passion to “do right by my clients” when offering them the best insurance and protection they could afford was the foundation of his sales philosophy. But, it wasn’t always easy. Very often, despite his client’s desire to own a successful insurance protection policy, they struggled to make the “buy” decision.

At that critical point in the sales meeting, my Dad would say, “To not decide, is to decide to do nothing.” Boy, was he right.

Many people seeking to become a success at attaining a skill or reaching a goal are deterred at the outset by their inability to move in any direction. This is a perfect example of Inertia.

Inertia is a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. Albert Einstein once said, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

Making the commitment to take bold action or to shed all doubt and fear is a critical part of becoming successful. What you know, have and believe now is “safe” to you. It’s the Status Quo.

The best way to shake off the Status Quo, move toward the intent of your desire, and overcome a tendency toward Inertia is to build some “Trust” muscle. This muscle, like all muscle, will respond and strengthen through repeated flexing and testing. It’s all in your mind.

Following these steps will help you build your trust muscle:

1. Imagine the goal of your desire.

2. What is the smallest step you can take now?

3. Take it and pause.

4. How does it make you feel?

5. Are you feeling confident?

6. Great. You’re flexing and strengthening your trust muscle.

7. Think about the next step, maybe a little bigger than the last, and take it.

8. Continue and repeat each step as above and you will continually overcome Inertia.

One warning, however, Inertia can pop up at any time, especially when an interim success has been reached. It questions whether you are willing to give up the comfort of what you have just attained for the prospect of something new but unknown; something you’ve only dreamed about but have yet to experience. If this happens to you, refer to step one above.

Staying ahead of Inertia is a great way to build the enthusiastic momentum that will help you stave off Entropy.

ENTROPY

I first became aware of this success challenge while listening to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s “The Power of Intention” lecture. I was so completely enlightened by his explanation of entropy, that this concept has become one of the most essential elements in the success coaching I do for organizations, leaders, and speakers.

Entropy, the second law of thermodynamics, states that things have a universal tendency toward deterioration. I define it this way: No matter how much energy or enthusiasm you have at the start of something it will not be enough to sustain you to the finish line. In order to sustain and reach the desired success of your intention you will need to apply increasing amounts of energy (psychological and physical) to your current effort to overcome the natural tendency toward deterioration. If you don’t, you will run out of energy, lose focus, spiral down and fall short.

If I were to chart the declining effects of entropy, it might look like this:

The best way for you to overcome the obstacle of Entropy is to follow these steps:

1. Find ways to celebrate the small successes you will have along the way to the desire of your intention.

2. Make something out of these successes.

3. Do not let them go unnoticed or unrecognized.

4. But, do not rest on this interim success or think of it as your end-point.

5. Use this “waypoint” success to “pat” yourself on the back and recognize where you are and how far you have come in your success journey.

6. Keep entropy at bay by continuously increasing your enthusiasm and energy for the desired intention.

Otherwise, you may just find yourself fishing for a dream.

Speaking of “Goin’ Fishing”, let’s look at the obstacle that will surface if you don’t overcome Entropy, Apathy.

APATHY

Years ago, I was president of an organization in desperate need of additional funds to pay for a special program. One day the organization was offered a “godsend” opportunity to host an event doing something it already did once a year that would have solved its special funds need. When I put it to a vote of my executive committee, my two VP’s of Ways and Means (a fancy name for fund raising) said “they did want to work that hard” and withdrew their support of the motion. The motion failed, and the money never came.

I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a bad volunteer, and I don’t fault these people for feeling the way they did. I am just serving this up as a perfect example of Apathy.

Apathy is a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern for something. It could be a goal, a relationship or a cause. All it means is that you have given up and surrendered your influence on the outcome without quitting altogether.

In this photo below, the fisherman hasn’t quit fishing, but he has detached himself from the active process. Technically, the two sticks in the water are doing the fishing because they are holding the fishing pole. If he catches a fish, it will be mostly by accident or as just a random result of his intention. Not quite Luck, but definitely a whole lot of Hoping.

The best way to overcome Apathy is to follow these steps:

1. Reevaluate the desire of your intention.

2. Determine if it still drives you with a sense of urgency.

3. Chart the progress you have made to date.

4. Analyze how far you have to go.

5. Imagine what it will be like to achieve the desire of your intention.

6. Challenge any on-setting feelings of Inertia you might be experiencing by taking one more, small step forward.

Remember, you are the master of your success. No one else will give it to you.

THE SWEET SENSE OF SUCCESS

Success is a wonderful feeling. It tickles the senses. Think of how people refer to success. The sweet taste of success or the sweet smell of success.

Success signals the end point of a journey of enriching experience, steadfast determination and reliable internal trust. Success achieved means you have overcome Inertia, Entropy and Apathy; the three obstacles everyone encounters on the way from a dream (desired intention) toward achievement.

Remember, every journey toward success, every project, every organizational initiative, every presentation, every relationship is challenged by these three obstacles. The degree to which you can control your success will be greatly enhanced when you learn how to take bold steps and break the status quo, harness your enthusiasm by adding new levels of celebration and reward, and focus on staying in the game by climbing back up the horse after a fall.

Intention is the seed you will use to grow the success of your desired intention. You hold that seed in your hands. Plant it, nurture it and harvest it and you will be rewarded for your efforts.

I trust you read this blog with the maximum amount of Intention and that it will help you understand the nature of success and how to have more of it in your personal and professional life. I appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I welcome any comment on this post or suggestions you might have in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

What are you really saying when you offer an apology for your work?

“No good apology ever included the words, “if” or “but”.
Anna Silk as Bo Dennis in Lost Girl

Years ago, there was a friend of mine that was so used to apologizing even the license plate on her car read “I’M SORRY”.

I always felt a little sad for her because she was and still is a really great person, with a shining personality, genuine self-esteem, and as faithful to her word as a saint. She truly had little to apologize for even after life dealt her some incredibly hard blows. In the face of these tragic occurrences, she never made excuses. Instead, she just dug down deep inside her well of persistent determination and gave it everything she had.

My friend saw the world as such a sunny place, that I am sure it was the reason she was always so “Sorry” for everything that happened, whether she had a hand in it or not. Perhaps we should be grateful there are good people in this world who really want the world to be a better place, even to the extent of taking the blame for its shortfalls.

I believe most people offer an apology from a sincere heart. In fact, I have operated on this principle most of my life. But lately, I have been subjected to a string of heartless apologies from insincere companies and professionals that makes me question the value and sincerity of a 21st century apology.

WHY DO WE APOLOGIZE?

In today’s world of business, the act of offering an apology has been strategically hi-jacked. Companies readily offer apologies for everything from a missed appointment to outright failure to perform. Most of these apologies are offered as a way of sounding sincere with the expectation of taking the bite out of the bark of a disappointed customer. The apology given as a corporate strategy with little or no intent to cure an error is about as empty an apology as you can find.

I’m not saying it is the wrong to apologize, I just believe it is pointless to apologize without a promise of action.

I can only think of two reasons why anyone should ever offer an apology.

• Reason #1: As the result of an action in order to establish terms for a redress of the aggrieved party.

• Reason #2: As a means of accepting responsibility while asking for foregiveness for a promise you could not keep.

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY SAYING WHEN YOU APOLOGIZE?

When you enter into a relationship with someone, whether personal or business, there exists an expectation of performance based on something called an “implied contract”. Whether you know it or not, you move in and out of these implied contracts all day long. Implied contracts are based on an expectation of intention. When you pump gas into your car, you are allowed to do so under the intention that you will pay for it. You are willing to pay for the gas because you have an expectation of performance based on the brand’s reputation or octane rating. That is the implied contract. It is an informal type of promise. Promises are the bedrock of Trust; hard to earn, easy to lose.

When you apologize for not keeping a promise, what are you really saying about yourself or your business:

•  “I overstated my ability to deliver on the promise I made to you.”

• “I made this promise to you out of desperation without considering how you might react if I could not fulfill my promise.”

• “I made this promise to you, but I figured if I could not keep my promise to you I could just apologize, and you would forgive me.”

• “It’s easier for me to apologize and inconvenience you, than it is for me to get it right the first time.”

•  “I make promises all the time with no intention of keeping them because that’s just how things are.”

•  “I specialize in empty promises.”

None of the above are acceptable responses under any conditions. If you are a leader or run a business, accept that you will, at some point, need to apologize for some shortfall of your team or business. When you do, be sincere and have a plan for erasing the bad taste of a promise broken.

HOW TO AVOID EMPTY APOLOGIES

• Do not offer an apology without a plan to make things not only right, but better.

• Do not apologize without having the intent to double down on future efforts to win back lost trust.

• If you make an apology, insist that you understand its acceptance will be performance based.

• Never include the words “if” or “but” in your apology.

In an apology, the injured party holds all of the chips. After failing to perform, an apology should not include any conditional language. A sincere apology cannot be made according to the giver’s terms. The giver of an apology has no right to dictate or negotiate its terms.

WHEN SPEAKERS SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT APOLOGIZE

Speakers tend to apologize for a lot of things including skipping a section, forgetting their place, having a cold, and so on. I once heard a speaker apologize for being boring. But, the number one thing I hear speakers make an apology for is not being “perfect.”

Remember, your speaker’s credibility is the foundation of the trust an audience confers on you. The relationship between a speaker and an audience is a fragile implied contract in which one party offers their focused attention in exchange for valuable information, motivation, and enjoyment.

That said, every speaker has the right not to be perfect. No audience has the right to expect perfection from a speaker.

Whatever you think you need to apologize for as a speaker, think about what you might be saying to your audience when you do. Are you saying:

• “I lost my place because I did not put enough preparation in to this effort.”

• “I left out that section because it was probably not that important.”

• “I’m not that excited to be here talking about this stuff.”

• “I was up all last night getting plastered at the hotel bar.”

When you speak, only apologize for those things beyond your control. Everything else, the stuff within your control, requires your full intention in order to deliver on the promise of your speech. How you fulfill this promise is up to you.

I will make no apologies for this blog’s content. I trust you enjoyed it and it will help you to avoid making future empty apologies in your personal and professional life. I appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I welcome any comment on this post or suggestions you might have in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer