Your Success will either DIE or LIVE on How You’re Thinking - Part 1

“Perceived failure is oftentimes success trying to be born in a bigger way.”
Chinese Fortune Cookie

PART I

As either a speaker or leader, the possibility of your success is ever present, ever changing, and never ending. The one certain thing I know, is that you will take and remain in control of that success potential when you discover how to define and refine your success mindset. The seeds of success must be planted and nurtured in the mind of the achiever if they are to have any possibility of taking root and reaching maturity.

If you’re looking for the most direct route to achieving success, look between your ears. Examine your current state of thinking toward your destination and become intimately aware of both the natural Enemies and the Allies of your promise.

THE NATURAL ENEMIES OF PROMISE

It might be hard for you to imagine (or not) that lying within the same fabric of energy from which you weave the dream, desire and eventual positive outcome of a promise are the same threads from which you may sew its destruction. These natural enemies of promise lurk beneath the surface of your positive energy waiting for that moment when the slightest crack in your resolve presents the opportunity for them to insidiously strike at the heart of your desire.

Without any fanfare or warning they will inject their venom into your thinking system causing the possibility of your promise to D.I.E.

The natural enemies of promise are Doubt, Indecision and Entropy. Let’s briefly examine each’s role as a natural enemy of promise.

Doubt

You’ve may have heard the expression, “sowing the seeds of doubt.” It’s true. Doubt is an easily planted, quick-rooting seed. Once planted it becomes self-nurturing, feeding upon a growing bed of uncertainty about the outcome of a possibility. Doubt can cause the deeply convicted to consider questionable or unlikely the strength of their conviction. Doubt is that critical moment when you hesitate to believe the possibility of your promise. Doubt is never an ally of the bold, the innovative, or the achiever.

The purveyors of Doubt are all around you. Even in places you might consider “safe”. Eliminate doubters from all facets of your endeavor. This might include friends, family, peers, superiors and subordinates, partners and patrons. If your goal is to succeed at achieving the possibility of your promise, you must build a wall of resistance and learn to cast away all signs of doubt. Steel yourself to the struggles ahead while learning to plant seeds of positivity nurtured by the faith of your conviction.

Indecision

My dad was one heck of a very successful salesman. Not only was he a success, but many of the people who worked for him were successful as well. One of the favorite expressions he used to inspire and instruct his sales force in helping them learn how to close for the benefit of the customer was, “Not to decide, is to decide.”

Indecision is an infectiously paralytic mindset that inflicts upon a person’s possibility of promise the inability to decide in both initial and critical situations. Unlike doubt that causes one to reconsider a belief, indecision robs the possibility of promise of its right to exist by shutting down all forward momentum. Indecision is the quicksand of the mind in which a current state of sinking in overwhelm becomes the accepted norm. Indecision is treading water with no apparent safe shore in sight.

Your goal in dispelling indecision is latch on to your resolve. See the possibility of your promise for all of the wonderous reasons that initially inspired you. Deepen your intention and take the leap of faith you dreamed of at the start.

Entropy

All endeavors exist on the same basic ingredient, energy. For most speakers and leaders this energy is limitless. It is culled from the intensity of their vision and the desire to share their vision with a wider, deeper impact.

Entropy is a doctrine of inevitable decline and degeneration. It tells us that, universally, reaching the possibility of your promise is an uphill battle. Things have a tendency toward deterioration. When pursuing the possibility of your promise you must know that whatever energy (enthusiasm) you amassed to begin will not be sufficient to sustain. To overcome the forces of entropy you will need to find ways to continually add to your supply of energy.

It’s not easy, but it is possible. Positive mindset techniques like expanding your vision, increasing the scope of your pursuit, and increasing the number of people that are aware of your promise are all ways you can add energy to your endeavor to counter the effects of entropy.

DON’T LET YOUR PROMISE D.I.E.

The natural enemies of promise are formidable, but not controllable. To become the master of the enemies you will need to intensify and solidify your positive mindset. When doubt, indecision or entropy begin to surface, you will need to learn how to adeptly hit the reset button without losing momentum. Remember, the solution lies between your ears.

TO BE CONTINUED…

This is the first of a two-part blog that will examine how “Your Success will either DIE or LIVE on How You’re Thinking.” In this part we examined “The Natural Enemies of Promise” - Doubt, Indecision and Entropy. If you cannot defeat the Natural Enemies of Promise by changing how you think, the possibility of your promise will D.I.E.

In part two of how “Your Success will either DIE or LIVE on How You’re Thinking”, we will examine the Natural Allies of Promise that will enable you to L.I.V.E. the possibility of your promise.

Thanks for your support as a reader of my blog and I eagerly welcome any comments on this post or suggestions you might have for a future blog on a topic near and dear to you in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Overcome these Challenges to Your Intention today, and you'll Achieve your Success tomorrow.

“Intention is the seed you sow today,
that will grow into the desired success you will reap tomorrow."
Don E. Smith

Why is success, for some people, as easy as getting out of bed, while for the rest of the world it is a constant, uphill struggle?

Would you like to be a success?

Who wouldn’t!

Have you ever asked yourself, “What does it take to become a success?”

Believe it or not, the answer to achieving success relies as much on how you think about the success process as it does on what you do to reach your goal. In many respects, you can’t have one without the other. If this confounds you, the question you might want to ask yourself is, “What is success?”

Success is defined as, “The achievement of an intent.”

So, right off the bat, this tells you two things about success. 1) you cannot achieve Success without Intent and 2). Success is never an accident. If you achieve your desire by either accident or chance, it’s called “Luck” and that’s rarely controllable or repeatable.

YOUR INTENTION TO SUCCEED

Success is all about Intention. Another way to put it is, “Intention is the seed you sow today, that will grow into the desired success you will reap tomorrow."

DESIRE + INTENTION = SUCCESS

But success is not without its challenges.

On every road you travel during a journey from intent to success you encounter three daunting challenges you will need to surpass. Each of these challenges is as deadly to the pursuit of your intent and ultimate success as the lack of water is to plants in a garden.

The Three Challenges to Success are Inertia, Entropy and Apathy.

Let’s examine each.

INERTIA

My Dad had his greatest business successes as an insurance agent. His passion to “do right by my clients” when offering them the best insurance and protection they could afford was the foundation of his sales philosophy. But, it wasn’t always easy. Very often, despite his client’s desire to own a successful insurance protection policy, they struggled to make the “buy” decision.

At that critical point in the sales meeting, my Dad would say, “To not decide, is to decide to do nothing.” Boy, was he right.

Many people seeking to become a success at attaining a skill or reaching a goal are deterred at the outset by their inability to move in any direction. This is a perfect example of Inertia.

Inertia is a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. Albert Einstein once said, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

Making the commitment to take bold action or to shed all doubt and fear is a critical part of becoming successful. What you know, have and believe now is “safe” to you. It’s the Status Quo.

The best way to shake off the Status Quo, move toward the intent of your desire, and overcome a tendency toward Inertia is to build some “Trust” muscle. This muscle, like all muscle, will respond and strengthen through repeated flexing and testing. It’s all in your mind.

Following these steps will help you build your trust muscle:

1. Imagine the goal of your desire.

2. What is the smallest step you can take now?

3. Take it and pause.

4. How does it make you feel?

5. Are you feeling confident?

6. Great. You’re flexing and strengthening your trust muscle.

7. Think about the next step, maybe a little bigger than the last, and take it.

8. Continue and repeat each step as above and you will continually overcome Inertia.

One warning, however, Inertia can pop up at any time, especially when an interim success has been reached. It questions whether you are willing to give up the comfort of what you have just attained for the prospect of something new but unknown; something you’ve only dreamed about but have yet to experience. If this happens to you, refer to step one above.

Staying ahead of Inertia is a great way to build the enthusiastic momentum that will help you stave off Entropy.

ENTROPY

I first became aware of this success challenge while listening to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s “The Power of Intention” lecture. I was so completely enlightened by his explanation of entropy, that this concept has become one of the most essential elements in the success coaching I do for organizations, leaders, and speakers.

Entropy, the second law of thermodynamics, states that things have a universal tendency toward deterioration. I define it this way: No matter how much energy or enthusiasm you have at the start of something it will not be enough to sustain you to the finish line. In order to sustain and reach the desired success of your intention you will need to apply increasing amounts of energy (psychological and physical) to your current effort to overcome the natural tendency toward deterioration. If you don’t, you will run out of energy, lose focus, spiral down and fall short.

If I were to chart the declining effects of entropy, it might look like this:

The best way for you to overcome the obstacle of Entropy is to follow these steps:

1. Find ways to celebrate the small successes you will have along the way to the desire of your intention.

2. Make something out of these successes.

3. Do not let them go unnoticed or unrecognized.

4. But, do not rest on this interim success or think of it as your end-point.

5. Use this “waypoint” success to “pat” yourself on the back and recognize where you are and how far you have come in your success journey.

6. Keep entropy at bay by continuously increasing your enthusiasm and energy for the desired intention.

Otherwise, you may just find yourself fishing for a dream.

Speaking of “Goin’ Fishing”, let’s look at the obstacle that will surface if you don’t overcome Entropy, Apathy.

APATHY

Years ago, I was president of an organization in desperate need of additional funds to pay for a special program. One day the organization was offered a “godsend” opportunity to host an event doing something it already did once a year that would have solved its special funds need. When I put it to a vote of my executive committee, my two VP’s of Ways and Means (a fancy name for fund raising) said “they did want to work that hard” and withdrew their support of the motion. The motion failed, and the money never came.

I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a bad volunteer, and I don’t fault these people for feeling the way they did. I am just serving this up as a perfect example of Apathy.

Apathy is a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern for something. It could be a goal, a relationship or a cause. All it means is that you have given up and surrendered your influence on the outcome without quitting altogether.

In this photo below, the fisherman hasn’t quit fishing, but he has detached himself from the active process. Technically, the two sticks in the water are doing the fishing because they are holding the fishing pole. If he catches a fish, it will be mostly by accident or as just a random result of his intention. Not quite Luck, but definitely a whole lot of Hoping.

The best way to overcome Apathy is to follow these steps:

1. Reevaluate the desire of your intention.

2. Determine if it still drives you with a sense of urgency.

3. Chart the progress you have made to date.

4. Analyze how far you have to go.

5. Imagine what it will be like to achieve the desire of your intention.

6. Challenge any on-setting feelings of Inertia you might be experiencing by taking one more, small step forward.

Remember, you are the master of your success. No one else will give it to you.

THE SWEET SENSE OF SUCCESS

Success is a wonderful feeling. It tickles the senses. Think of how people refer to success. The sweet taste of success or the sweet smell of success.

Success signals the end point of a journey of enriching experience, steadfast determination and reliable internal trust. Success achieved means you have overcome Inertia, Entropy and Apathy; the three obstacles everyone encounters on the way from a dream (desired intention) toward achievement.

Remember, every journey toward success, every project, every organizational initiative, every presentation, every relationship is challenged by these three obstacles. The degree to which you can control your success will be greatly enhanced when you learn how to take bold steps and break the status quo, harness your enthusiasm by adding new levels of celebration and reward, and focus on staying in the game by climbing back up the horse after a fall.

Intention is the seed you will use to grow the success of your desired intention. You hold that seed in your hands. Plant it, nurture it and harvest it and you will be rewarded for your efforts.

I trust you read this blog with the maximum amount of Intention and that it will help you understand the nature of success and how to have more of it in your personal and professional life. I appreciate your support as a reader of my blog and I welcome any comment on this post or suggestions you might have in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

Why the sheer brilliance of using a deep conversation to create a high-value relationship is utterly priceless.

"Deep conversations with the right people are priceless."
Anonymous

As of late, the art of conversation has been taking a beating. We all know it and, most importantly, we all see it. People still meet for lunch or dinner, but they don’t talk much to each other. Instead, they just immerse themselves in technology, only occasionally sharing a tweet or text. It’s all very surface level and hardly ever goes deeply into what really matters. While they are developing relationships, many of these people are missing out on the priceless value deeper conversation offers.

THE ART OF THE PRICELESS

For many years, I have been coaching my leadership and speaking clients to get out of their ivory tower and talk to their people. If all you know about a person is what is on their resumé, you “don’t know nothin’” about them. The same thing goes for colleagues as well. I once worked at a communications agency where we were prohibited from talking to each other except as it related to work.

A communications agency!

Hard to believe? Not really.

In many corporate circles, conversation is considered a waste of time. Idle chatter. The devil’s playground.

But, research has found that practicing the art of conversation is a sound business strategy. Even without the research, having deep conversations with clients, colleagues and audiences is a fundamentally sound behavior. After all, when you take a business and separate the processes and product from the enterprise what you have left are the people that work there. The same people that will spend endless hours pouring their souls into a product or service can hardly be bothered to explore and discover what matters most in their professional, public, and personal lives.

For many leaders, conversations may appear to be an unnecessary, costly expense. But what they are destined to learn when building a high-functioning team, is that deep conversations between the players is critical. This may not be news to some, but it is certainly a revelation on the state of human nature to many. What some leaders and speakers may view as a costly extravagance is actually a priceless experience.

Recently, Joe Maddon, World Series winning manager of the Chicago Cubs, has begun taking to dinner players who may be struggling or underperforming. It is his belief that getting to know the player better through deep conversations is a critical part of his job. He knows there is a postive benefit when the player knows his manager has concern for more than what happens between the foul lines. Maddon is it in for the long game, because winning is the result of lots of small wins collected over time. He knows winning in life has a direct correlation to winning on the field. He sees a manager’s role as not just managing how a team plays but managing the people who play on the team as well.

Deep conversations are the very foundation of a strong relationship. To build a strong lasting relationship all parties have to be invested in the process. Or, as our giraffes in the photo accompanying this blog demonstrate, sometimes you have to be willing to stick your neck out to get results. To build a strong relationship through deep conversations you must be willing to give details and disclosures about yourself (company) as well as receive the same in return from the other side of the relationship. Deep conversations really are priceless.

THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT CYCLE

A while back, I developed The Relationship Development Cycle, a model for helping all of my clients learn how they could build stronger relationships. Stronger relationships with their clients, teams, and audiences. Through the use of this model, my clients are able to deepen the relationships they have with themselves (as leaders and speakers) and with others in the course of doing business, enhancing their communities, and enriching their personal and family lives.

The Relationship Development Cycle has five stages (Desire, Exploration, Discovery, Negotiation and Acceptance) that continuously revolve around a central hub (Trust) for stability. The engagement of this model can help anyone develop a deeper understanding and relationship with any person, place or thing. You can apply it to a skillset or a dataset. It works the same so long as the first stage (Desire) is present in the relationship. Without Desire, all relationships crumble through entropy and eventually cease to exist. It is one reason we tend to lose friendships over time. Without the Desire to maintain the relationship, it has a natural tendency to falter.

The hub of Trust acts to align the relationship based on the truthfulness of the information exchanged throughout the relationship.

If (when engaging this model to develop a deeper personal relationship with yourself about a skill, emotion or experience) you cannot maintain complete honesty, your self-relationship will spin out of alignment due to an imbalance of honest information. Since we often “lie” to ourselves as a defense mechanism many of us don’t often have the best relationships with ourselves. Don’t you deserve better?

You are one of the right people. Have a deep conversation with yourself.

The ability to build a strong relationship is not a “just add water” activity. It takes time, sincerity, honesty, creativity, and bravery to expose yourself willingly to another person (including yourself). For western thinkers it requires the ability to allow yourself time for reflection. Something the western mind tends to struggle with grasping.

In a recent commencement address to his daughter’s graduations class, Chief Justice John Roberts urged the graduates to “to stay involved with yourself." He imparted to them the following sentiment, "My advice is, when you get to college, to set a little time aside each day to think about things instead of simply acquiring more information. Do not read more, do not research more, do not take notes. Put aside books, papers, computers, telephones. Sit, perhaps just for a half hour, and think about what you're learning."

SOUND BUSINESS THINKING

If your goal is to build better work groups with higher levels of performance and reliability, I can recommend no better way than to practice The Relationship Development Cycle. Challenge all members of your organization to learn more about who they are, what they want and what they need from the work they do by engaging this model between themselves. Once you learn what people dream to achieve, you will see how you can help them fuel that desire.

For leaders and speakers, The Relationship Development Cycle is critical to developing the deep thought platforms you seek to use when communicating concepts and processes to your audience. By engaging The Relationship Development Cycle you’ll learn to stretch your ability for self-examination, strengthen your thinking muscle, and overcome the tendency to settle for the easy answers to tough questions. Remember, your value to individuals and organizations rest solely on the uniqueness of your vision and your ability to effectively articulate that vision with authority, brevity and clarity.

Click this link for a free copy of my one-page document about The Relationship Development Cycle and feel free to share it with colleagues, friends and partners. Most importantly, share The Relationship Development Cycle with yourself. Start today to begin building a strong relationship with yourself on a host of topics through deep intrapersonal conversations. You’ll soon see the most amazing transformation begin to happen when you stick your neck out just a little.

While you’re at it, stick your neck out a little and please share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below. As always, please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer

How to achieve success with the genius of “The Three Principles”.

In most crimes, the solution rests on three things; means, motive and opportunity. There is no greater mystery than the unfolding of your life. And just like a good mystery, it also centers itself around means, motive and opportunity. Every human being who has ever desired to change the future, improve their skills, or build their self-esteem has confronted these three things by engaging the “The Three Principles of Success”.

The Three Principles of Success

Have you ever watched an infant begin to take its first steps?

If you have, you’ve probably noticed how quickly they get back up after they have fallen? That’s because, whether they know it or not, they are acting on their encoded secret plan to achieve success.

Do you want to know what the secret is?

It’s “The Three Principles of Success”.

The Three Principles are:

1. The Principle of Purpose

2. The Principle of Passion and

3. The Principle of Persistency

Defining Your Purpose

Perhaps the most common question people ask is, “What is my Purpose in life?”

In order to answer that question, it is necessary to answer these questions first, “What do I Want?”, “What do I Have?”, and “What do I Need?”.

A Want or a Need are the objective goals that compel you to seek and begin change in your life. Wants and Needs are assessment tools that help you determine the abundance and priority of What you have as a means to your end.

Defining your Purpose is first step in solving your life’s mystery. A Purpose is a What, a means. Purpose along with its cousin Passion create the vision of the destination you seek to achieve. Your Purpose is personal. It is impossible to succeed at achieving someone else’s Purpose. You cannot and will not succeed at it unless you make it your own unwavering Purpose.

It might take you time to clearly define the Purpose of your life. But be careful. Many people often define Purpose through short term thinking.

“I need to make enough money to take a vacation.”

Making money is a means to an end, but not the Purpose. The Purpose is the end, the vacation. The Purpose is the value exchange you will receive from the vacation you will take. The scope of your Purpose might change as you expand the range of your vision. A weekend at the shore may be immediately achievable but sailing around the world may take a little more planning. Both are clearly achievable goals, requiring varying degrees of unwavering Purpose.

Defining your Purpose is your first step in achieving a desired success. Take some time to flesh it out. Allow it to mature. Study it. Question it. Investigate it. If, after all of your probing research is done, you still feel the same burning Purpose and Passion for the end result, it is rightfully yours to own and achieve.

Discovering Your Passion

Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) is noted for saying, “The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why.”

Your passion is your “why”.

Passion addresses the “Why” or “Motive” of your crime.

Your Passion is as unique to you as your fingerprints. No two passions are alike.

But, understand this one basic rule, “You cannot succeed at someone else’s passion.”

No matter what desires others may have for you, what dreams they hold and hopes they desire, They are not yours, unless to totally intend to make them so.

Think deeply about your Passion. Does it truly answer your deepest “Why”?

Designing Your Persistency

Developing Persistency requires continual “gut-checking”. Intestinal fortitude will tell you if you have a stomach for what you may have to swallow on the journey to your destination. I call this developing a “Capacity for Tenacity”.

Running a marathon requires more than just showing up for the starting gun. Hour upon hour of training through all types of weather and terrain is required. Alterations to diet, conditioning, sleep, communal time, etc. all fall victim to the desires of the long-distance runner. Being a “long-distance” runner is a metaphor for whatever desire you pursue. It will take time, energy, talent and treasure to reach your goal. Getting there requires tenacity, an unyielding Persistence.

But what happens when you become drained, depleted of all resources, and run out of gas?

What happens when you are at the end of your rope?

What to Do When You’re at the End of Your R.O.P.E.

Get more R.O.P.E.!

When you hit a “wall” of resistance, that is the time to step back, assess your progress and dig in with unyielding Persistence. Access your R.O.P.E.

R.O.P.E. is your Reserve Of Persistent Energy. Persistent Energy is your resolution to succeed. No matter how much someone may want something for you, they cannot do it for you. If they do, it is not yours, it is theirs. You may have it, use it, and abuse it. But, you will never truly own it. It will always be a gift replete with all of the encumbrances of a gift including the gratitude and responsibility associated with accepting it.

If you want to own your achievements, R.O.P.E. is a controllable way to get there.

The Four Horsemen of Failure

Distractions, Obstacles, Limitations, and Entropy. These are the “Four Horsemen of Failure”.

Very often, when beginning on a quest, you find yourself facing a daunting journey. Why not? If it were easy everybody would be doing it.

Let’s say you need a paper clip. You have two choices. Make one or buy one. Making a paper clip and buying a paper clip are two totally different experiences. One is possible given degrees of application in time, talent and money. The other is simply a shopping task. Or a quick trip to the next cubicle. But let’s suppose for a moment that you live in a pre-paper clip world. Would you have enough tenacity to bring it all together?

Well, we all live in a “pre” something world. If we don’t have it, haven’t done it, or haven’t seen it, it is all imagined. But, you can plot the course before you “set sail” on your journey by designing a set of unbreakable Persistency that will enable you to reach your destination.

Persistence is the “firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition”. We sometimes call this “single-mindedness” or “extreme focus”. There is nothing wrong with having this behavioral trait. But, like all good things in life, it must find its place in the life-balance continuum.

This Persistency will make up your “Won’t Power.” Your Persistency will include promises that you are not willing to break. If you do they have a considerable ability to undermine your success. As a start, let your unbreakable Persistency address the Four Horsemen of Failure.

Distractions. Design a set of promises that specifically address the circumstance under which you will allow yourself to be distracted from your goal. Accept these as being OK, and everything else as forbidden.

Obstacles. Make a list of the obstacles you see on your journey and design promises with strategies for how you will confront and surmount these impediments to progress. Don’t back down. Be firm. Have your own back.

Limitations. These are the things you need to achieve your goal that you do not currently have. Design promises that with set you on a path toward acquiring the things you need to succeed. Realize they may not be immediately acquirable but certainly attainable given time, talent and treasure.

Entropy. No matter how much energy you have at the start of your journey, you will continually need ever increasing amounts of energy to stay the course until you reach your goal. This is not your fault. This is the Universe at work. Entropy is the universal law that says everything has a tendency towards deterioration. Gravity wins. Friction slows you down. Design some promises that will help you get tough when the going gets rough.

There is genius and simple wisdom in this practice. If you build the palace of your desires on the Three Principles of Success you will find is has footing on a solid, proven base of beliefs, behaviors, and shared genius of countless successful people.

Please feel free to share this post with a friend or colleague. As always, share your comments on this post or suggestions in the comments section below.

Bringing Positivity to Everything,
The Brain Tamer